Gender Benders and Gays with Tits….thats what this movie is about.  I often laugh when I see posts by people saying “It doesnt mean you are gay if you have another guy suck your cock” or “It doesnt mean you’re gay if you fuck some other guy in the ass cos you are the one doing the fucking” or in this case “Im not gay…I don’t do guys I do She-males and Trannies”  Get over it guys…if this is your scene you are at least bisexual if not gay, after all you’re seeking cock not pussy and not even hermaphrodites.  But whether it’s gay, bisexual or straight…sexuality and sluttiness play the most important part in any porn for deciding whether it’s hot or whether it’s not and appropriately Young Tender Trannies 9 is a mixed bag.

The thing that really surprises me in this movie is that in a couple of the scenes these shemale’s tits don’t even really get any attention paid to them at all.  To my figuring if you aren’t going to play with the tits you may as well just get it on with some shaved long haired hippy and have him suck your cock…same diff…I mean thats the point of them being shemales isn’t it ?  The sexual energy in the third scene is enough to get anyone off tho…male, female, straight, gay, or bi.  These two performers obviously love sex and love getting it on in front of the camera and even tho the shemale isn’t really a chick she/he has one of the sweetest curvy little asses I’ve ever seen and if I didn’t know there was a cock up-front I would want a piece of it too.  Three jackable cocks-up for Young Tender Trannies 9…one of the only straight porn movies I’ve reviewed without any chicks in it but a heaping helping of sluts anyways.

Planter’s Peanuts meets Planting Penis in Mixed Nuts 3.  I am sooo funny and witty that my oral abilities shine in more ways than you think…anyways on with the show.  Mixed Nuts 3 is inter-racial finery and debauchery and covers a wider range of skin-tones than most inter-racial movies out there.  Personally I like my meat either white or dark, but I guess to the makers of this movie things aren’t always just black and white.  In Mixed Nuts 3, you also get off-white and dusky…I’m assuming these yummy guys are Latin and either Native or Asian….almond chicken I guess would be the flavour of the day for this gay.  Anyways honey you get the picture…just like a rainbow this movie is a mix of colors.

While this was not one of the most spectacularly exciting movies I’ve reviewed the size of the packages some of these guys are packing makes it worth the time watching anyways and it certainly cleanses the white guilt of history from your soul when you see how savagely the young black stud feeds his cock to…then skullfucks and finishes up with a deep ass fucking and deposits a HUGE creamy load all over this tight white guy’s ass…zulu war staff indeed.  Mixed Nuts 3 is enough of a mixed bag that there is something in it for everyone and gets ribbons of raunchiness for it’s randy rectum wrecking.

Rock Hard 4 is a movie that pays homage to Nature’s Viagra…’Sluts’.  Let’s face it…a lot of chicks may look all playboy bunny hot on the outside but in bed they are such frigid kittens that unless you haven’t gotten any in a long time it’s not going to be something that will get you off to any great degree….yknow the ones who just lay there silently…or for some reason figure that even though no one is around they have to whisper if they talk while fucking…or wrap their lips around your cock and then dont really do anything with their mouth other than have it be a hole for you to fuck…not a turn-on.  The Super-Sluts in this movie would be able to get Stephen Hawking hard as a rock.

Ever watch a Nascar Race or Stunt Plane competition ?  If so you know what I’m talking about when I say that those drivers and racers are almost bonded with their cars/planes…like an extension of their mind and body that they are as adept with as their own hands and feet.  The chicks in this movie are the same kinda deal but with cocks….whether in the hand, mouth, pussy or ass they ride and move and suck and mindblowingly make the cock an extension of their desires…sluttiness at it’s finest is the trademark of this movie and I’m going to have to look for more in hopes that the rest of the series is the same…if so I see some ball draining reviews in the future.  The latina lovely in the third scene has one of the hottest threesomes I have ever seen…her love for cocks and sex and everything related apparent in the frenzied way she goes after these dude’s fucksticks and cum at the end.  A Full-on five cocks up for Rock Hard 4

Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays…as soon as October starts I get all shivery knowing that it’s coming…you could say it coming almost gets me coming.  Why is Halloween so exciting you ask ?  Well because you can really let your freak flag fly honey and dress up as whatever you want.  Thats why when I see movies like Mud On the Helmet it makes me even more envious than when watching other porn.  Sure I’m always a little jealous when I get to see the yummy cocks these actors get day after day but this one…..they also get to dress up as the most macho of macho stud beefcakes…soldiers.  Go Go G.I. Joe.

Sadly the unifromed chemistry between these cumbatants was nothing too exciting and I quite frankly figure that considering they got to dress up they should have tried to role play at least a little harder.  I mean seriously they don’t even try to be butch.  If I got to dress up as a Sergeant I would be ordering those privates to tongue polish my privates to a spit-shine.  The sex itself though was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Each scene had seriously deep ass tunneling as these guys plunged their rods balldeep and the cumshots were prodigous enough to give my tongue a craving for the taste of nuts and honey.  Three semi-excited swishing salutes to Mud On the Helmet.  (Next time get some butch soldiers)

Okay I get the premise that when the cat’s away the pussy will play, and the whole thing about naughty nympho’s left home alone etc, but many of these chicks are hot enough that my big question is, why the hell are they home alone…oh, except for one of the girl-on-girl scenes that comprise the last third of the movie where the chicks weren’t good enough looking to take out anywhere (psst…avoid scene seven).  Girls Home Alone 20 hasn’t got too much in your face hardcore action and strikes me more as a voyeur movie that could have been more exciting, but I guess by number twenty, some burn-out is expected.

They say that having an exploring mind when you are young will help to take you far out into the world as you get older.  Based on that, the chicks in Girls Home Alone 20 are destined to go far indeed as they make their mark in sex-den after sex-den around the world…cos as far as exploring goes all the mountains, valleys and channels are wide open for exploration on these sluts.  The sex itself was a lot more softcore than I like, but in most of the scenes (and God knows there’s a lot of them) the chicks are hot enough to add that extra bit of sizzle to the action themselves.  The girl-on-girl stuff is quite hot in a couple scenes, but I also think they should’ve had their boyfriends coming over to drill them properly in a good hot threesome.  Three semi-satisfied cocks-up for Girls Home Alone 20.

First of all I have to ask what is up with the idea of soccer being played indoors in a gymnasium?  Even those silly speaking English people play their soccer outside, even though the weather there is wet enough to prune even the largest cock.  Also even though I don’t play soccer, or like it, I do know that the players are supposed to wear high cut floppy shorts with nothing to hold their cocks so that we can see their package swinging when they run down the field.  Obviously these guys either didn’t know that, or were just too rude to give us more of a show than just the short sex scenes that they delivered.

That’s right, I said short sex-scenes.  This whole movie is under half an hour long…that’s right, your average Simpsons, Family Guy, or South Park episode is actually longer than this whole porn movie.  Oh well you think, maybe the guys are total studmuffins with buns perfect for buttering and battering and huge cocks that will make you gasp in surprise and desire.  Well, stop thinking that way; the guys in Playin With The Coach’s Balls are average package size at best and the sex that they have is rushed, and feels very awkward.  I have reviewed a lot of good movies that are guaranteed hot jack-off material, and some that are not as good.  But never have I reviewed anything as poorly done as this one.  The only benefit I see to this movie is, if you have a short attention span at least it’s a short movie.

There are a lot of jobs in the world that people want; there are a lot of jobs in the world that people don’t…for instance, in a candy factory everybody wants to be the guy who gets to try the fudge, but nobody wants to be the guy who has to put the S’s on the Skittles.  In porn everybody wants to be the guy who gets to sample the wannabe actresses and figure out who’s got what it takes.  Porn nowadays is flooded with wannabe actresses picturing a life where they can get paid oodles of money for laying on their backs.  The Dirty Newcummers series highlights many of the new faces of porn…some you will see again probably, and some you won’t.

In my opinion this is a series that starts off with a bang and obviously the producers knew when they stuck the number one on the title that they had a hit on their hands.  The chicks in this movie may not be known faces in porn, but it’s obvious scene to scene (and we don’t get ripped off, there are five of them) that these babes know their way around a cock…they suck like pros, they fuck like pros, so in my opinion, even if they’re amateurs, they’re pros.  The only thing I would’ve liked to have seen would’ve been some DP action to show that they’ve got what it takes for the long run in this biz.  Four solid cocks-up to Dirty Newcummers 1, and I’m sure I will review number two some time in the near future.

Now honey, even though a lot of churches have opened their minds enough to open their doors to us I’m still not really a church-goer, but I do like to sing the Hallelujah chorus at Christmas, especially the part where you go “Glooo-oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooria”…it always sends such a tingle up my spine cos it makes me think of Glory holes and our sexy savior Jesus spending time on his knees with his Apostles…I mean, trim that beard, put that long hair in a ponytail and that’s a savior I would savour.  Well this is a movie all about those glorious places called glory holes and the fun that some young dudes can get up to in such a place.

There is something primally exciting about a group of men together with sweat glistening on their muscles, grunting away and hearing that slap of skin on skin action…this is probably the same excitement that leads even straight men to go watching each other in professional sports.  While the glory hole action itself is super-hot, watching these guys gobble each other’s cocks with the same intensity that a man in the desert would go for water, the movie itself does not limit itself with just the gloryhole aspect but as advertised, also delivers gangbang after gangbang showing that not only are these glorious sluts anxious to have their mouth filled with cocks, but they also crave it in their asses just as much.  Glory Hole Gang Bang 2 was very exciting and kept me rock-hard with an intense enough orgasm that I recommend it to everyone, and I can’t wait to get to see more of this series.

Every now and then you see bulletins and pamphlets for symposiums that illustrate the plight of people in small African nations, geared to make you feel bad for and empathize with our black brethren.  Other times you see bulletins and pamphlets for symposiums that illustrate the plight of the black man in urban cities throughout America. I watch movies like Fuck It Like Its Hot 3 and I say what plight?  Obviously these symposiums are total bullshit cos from what I see these black dudes are gifted with cocks that American white guys pay millions of dollars a year in the hopes of having yet never will, and add on to that all those sweet ebony sluts they get to fuck in this movie…I mean that’s a plight I wish I could have.

The sex in this movie was freakin out of sight.  I can see why this series is a series…these are some nympho negresses that are as expert at sucking and fucking big black cocks as Chuck Norris.  I mean I guess if you learn in the ghetto on these big monster cocks, it just makes you a total pro as you get older…and add to this the super hot contrast of those perfectly pink pussies all slick and shiny with wetness as they get pummeled by these big ebony fucksticks…fucking fantastic man!  I personally don’t care too much whether the people I am watching fuck (or fucking) are black or white (just not yellow or green or purple) but the sex in Fuck It Like Its Hot 3 is hot enough that it guarantees you will shoot your load more than once, and gets itself a very solid four cocks-up.

First let me say that I felt very hurt and betrayed by this movie when it started because when I first saw the title, Measure For Measure, I automatically thought ‘Mmmm, footlong hotdogs for dinner tonight.’  Imagine my distress when I realized that the measurements weren’t about the things that really mattered and instead was just some cheap lying bastard publicist thinking that using alliteration was fine even if it misled me, and I’m sure many others into watching this movie.  Secondly let me say I came twice watching this movie and it was fucking hot.

These muscley macho men got my masturbation muscle working, and even though I had been deceived in thinking it was about huge cocks, each and every guy in this movie at least has a package he can be proud of, and certainly a package I would like delivered on my doorstep.  The intensity of some of the sucking and fucking was totally off the scale…you could literally see the set around the actors shaking in rhythm with some of the pounding thrusts.  Copious cum shots in each scene (they left me craving a McDonald’s extra thick vanilla shake) gave the afterburn to already sizzling scenes and I giveMeasure For Measure six excited swishes.