I don’t have much patience for teens…they can be annoying as fuck in oh so many ways and the mall-queens and kings frequently get on my nerves with their posing and arrogant ass behavior when I’m trying to get my shit done and get the hell outta there. But the teens in Teenies Exposed 1 give me hope for the future generations, cos even tho these teen broads are totally into themselves like so many others, they’re also happy to show their self-love and display their naked bodies for our enjoyment before revealing their true slutty natures as they get nasty with some intense cock-play and fuck sessions. That’s a trade-off I can handle.

So with Teenies Exposed 1 we get three jackable scenes that all follow the same kinda theme…hard-bodied teen slut wearing a skimpy outfit rubs her ass and her tits to the camera, then flashes her tits and licks them before getting clothed again, then rubbing herself again before being introduced to some meaty cock to fuck and suck to her hearts content. Now the thing with teen sluts is that they’re just starting to discover how totally fucking great having sex can be, and their hormones are going wild and producing intense desires and horniness that comes across in each of these hot three scenes. The teen babes in Teenies Exposed 1 keep going and going, getting fucked harder and deeper and faster with each passing moment and they never seem to slow down. That intense sexual energy is totally fucking hot and made me cum pretty hard several times earning Teenies Exposed 1 a highly jackable four cocks-up, and given that these are teen sluts, which isn’t usually my bag, that’s a fucking good rating so check it out.

Summertime always gets me frisky, and summer hunks frolicking on the beach in their bikini briefs get me even friskier, so Shore Thing was a sure thing guaranteed to turn me on, get me hot, frisky and ready to frolick!  We’re treated to four spectacularly sexy scenes with hunky studs exploring each other’s bodies with passion and tenderness exquisitely combined for intense satisfaction.  Starting with a story of a lost cock-ring deliberately placed to lure a hunky young stud back for some super sexy cock-play, Shore Thing takes us on a ride of ecstasy and exploration as these hunky studs delight with their sexy foreign language (hearing their husky tones speaking a language I don’t understand as they seduce each other just makes the hair tingle on the back of my neck and the horniness and hardness rise in my pants) and amaze with their cock-handling skills as they produce some of the best male bonding footage I’ve ever had the pleasure of viewing.

A super sexy shower scene is second in the line-up, and these two hunks don’t waste any time getting straight into the action.  The sensuality emanated from this couple as they kissed, caressed, sucked and eventually fucked in several positions while the water beat down on their hot naked bodies.  You’re definitely treated to some excellent eye-candy in Shore Thing, and the rest of the movie kept up the pace with a poolside pounding coming next that featured some sexy toe-sucking and close-up rimming and a whole variety of fuck positions in and out of the water.   Of course, what summertime beach experience is complete without the image of super-sexy studs jumping up and down and bouncing those cute asses in a friendly game of volleyball, and Shore Thing delivers exactly what we want with a final ridiculously hot threesome scene that blew my mind as well as my load.  Five spectacularly sensual swishes to the left for Shore Thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, in no way shape or form am I a racist, I just see things in the same way as Bruce Springsteen…and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Anyways, when I picture American creampies in my head, I see blonde blue-eyed all-American cheerleader types getting gangbanged by whatever team they’re cheering for (or whatever team happens to be around) and while American Cream Pie 2 is a hot movie in it’s own right; it does fall short of my stereotypical expectations.

Now the beginning of each of these scenes is totally fucked up and convinces me that the director’s for American Cream Pie 2 were majorly messed up on drugs…each scene you have two chicks pretending that they are tied up to these chairs and manage to break their bonds…then like any escaped captive; they strip down and start masturbating (like what the fuck man?). Anyways whether these chicks are American or not, they are certainly the type of chicks that belong in porn, because their slutty natures come through the screen full force at you, and speaking of full force, that’s also the way that they like to be fucked. Anyone who says women can’t share should check this out cos for the most part they’re very good about sharing cock for each of these lucky dudes in all five scenes. Overall except for the idiotic beginnings (which you can fast-scan) American Cream Pie 2 was a great and very creamy movie and gets four cream-shooting cocks-up.

If you aren’t a young twink, you probably remember the movie Blame it on Rio starring a young sexy Michael Caine…hated it. Anyways, this is what that movie should have been about, because it shows all the best sights to see in Brazil, without even having to go outside more than a couple of times. That’s right, the best things Brazil has to see are the tanned young studs that overflow their lucky country, and if one of them happened to be named Rio, the only thing I would blame him for is the bow-legged walk I would have the next day.

The length of Brazilian Beef is as epic as my favorite blockbuster movie ‘Lord of the Rings’…you know the one where this guy has this cock ring that just keeps his cock hard and wanting to get fucked all the time, and he’s on a quest to find the perfect anal ring (sphincter) for it to fit into…well, the length of the cocks on some of these younger studs as they enjoy the spiciness their Latin blood craves is also something to get excited about and scene after scene of rimming, sucking, fucking and cumming leaves you drained and content over and over throughout the movie. If any of the youthful studs in this movie ever manage to sneak across the borders into America, they will certainly find sanctuary as my personal cabana boys. Brazilian Beef was very satisfying in all the right ways and gets five swishes of my muy caliente salsa.

Okay, enough of this bullshit. Bobby Rinaldi, I’m calling you out…and Wildlife productions, that’s right, you know I’m talking about you too. Time to find out where you’re based and come down and heads will freakin roll! I am so sick and freakin tired of people titling things as though they are something that they aren’t or something cool (that’s right Will.i.am, I am talking about you and your dumbass name too). Like you could’ve just called this ‘Hot Chicks Fucking’ and people would’ve watched it for that, instead of lying and implying that I’m gonna get to watch some chick constantly getting her holes simultaneously stuffed…especially since your movie didn’t actually have that.

So I start this up, and what do I get for my first scene…just some freaking vanilla sex like I would get to see on Playboy channel during their hardcore movie nights. Okay I figure, they’re just slowly setting the atmosphere or whatever, and then by the end of scene two, sure I’ve seen some anal and pussy fucking, but unless there’s another dude there that’s invisible I sure as hell haven’t seen any double action. So finally more than halfway through the third scene (which is also more than halfway through the movie with the title that implies it’s full of dp action…Liars) we get some dp action happening, and yeah, the chick is totally into it, she’s being hammered hard, then all of a sudden it’s over. Like what the fuck, call this movie Double Tease. The hottest scene comes next, and to give an example of how mistitled this movie is, it doesn’t even have any dudes in it. The heat factor on it is way up though cos the two chicks are obviously totally into each other, and I’m sure if you’re watching it, this is where you’ll blow your load. For being such liars, and mistitling their movie, Double Play gets only one cock-up, and if you watch it for the double action, be sure not to blink. Otherwise kudos to the chick on chick action in this movie.

Whatever It Takes certainly had whatever it took to stretch the limits of my imagination as I got to see some of the nicest meat I’ve ever seen outside of that little deli down on 4th street…you know the one I mean with that young hunky looking Greek vision of swarthiness that works in the back…I’d sure like to work in his back; but oh I digress. This movie starts off with an exquisitely well-hung young adonis…well I say well-hung, I mean he can spin it like a propellor (and you know those are some friendly skies I would like to fly on) and the meat market from this point only gets as good if not better.

Not only are the guys in this movie picture perfect models, but each and every one of them is well enough hung to be perfect models for penis pills that make your cock larger. Each scene has enough super hot sucking and fucking to put the swirls in my lollipop, and the generous makers of this movie also did not limit these super-studs as we get ’super-sized cock cubed’ in a spectacularly throbbingly hot and well-hung match-up of a trio of Toreadors. If you like your meat well-hung then Whatever It Takes has what it takes to give your love-rocket lift-off over and over again. Seven stratospheric swishes of epic proportions for Whatever It Takes.

Chubby Chasers 7 is a movie that really lets the good times roll; as a matter of fact there are more rolls in this movie than in the average bakery, but unlike many BBW movies, this one has the advantage in that many of these rolls or at least the sweet pastries inside are also more succulent looking than in the average bakery. My biggest complaint with this movie is they really ripped us off on duration. Perhaps the producers felt that what they lost in length they could make up in girth…in a way they were right cos a couple of the chicks in this movie are damn hot, totally know how to fuck, and are better stacked than the Vatican library.

First Seduction

Reviewed by brav under Gay DVD Reviews Wednesday June 25, 2008

This movie just goes to prove what I’ve always said…all men are sluts. Now I know some of you are thinking “LeVar…what are you talking about ? My straight neighbor is totally not a slut, even though I wish he was…but he’s owned by his woman.” Well to this I say; Honey you are sooo wrong, if you got her out of the way for a day and invited him over for some redneck beer and had some woman porn on, before you know it he would have his cock out with you having yours out and after a few minutes mutual jacking, the offer of your mouth would appeal to him just as much as any womans. Know why? Cos like First Seduction shows, all men are sluts.

The scenes vary from viginettes like I previously described with a porn movie, breaking the ice but making things oh so nice and then move forwards showing how much men in union (even if one of them is mixed up in the head and thinks he prefers women) can accomplish. Co-operation is the name of the game as these guys join together using their unity to accomplish their goals and then showing each other that gay or straight, one thing guys have in common is the joy and pride we take in our tools. Of course, any time when one guy shows his tool to another, the guy it’s being shown to needs to try it out and that’s just as true when it comes to the tempting tools between our legs. These guys obviously take pride and pleasure in showing their straight friends and neighbors that ‘Anything a she can do…A he can do better’. Four big swishes of neighborly love from my friendly neighborhood watering hose to First Seduction.

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Charlie Zipless

Reviewed by brav under XXX DVD Reviews Tuesday June 24, 2008

This is one call girl cock-banging that will make you call out when you cum. Sure the chicks could be hotter but the variety and vivacious sexuality more than makes up the balance in beauty and overloads it with orgasmic energy to spare. I mean hell, next time I think about going to the bar to get laid, instead of spending the money on some stupid bitch who might not know how to give head later I wish I could call an agency like this and get such professional service…since just watching it these chicks made me shoot such a heavy load, I can only imagine what they could do in real life.

Sure the idea of calling out for sex is old…it’s probably been around since Alexander Graham Bell gave the second phone he created to his mistress but the heat and sexuality in Charlie Zipless more than make up for the lack of originality in the storyline and title.

Not only do these chicks obviously love cock and get off on being in front of the camera to show their sluttiness but one of the hottest scenes also has some girl-on-girl action that’s good enough for a jack-off session in itself.

All in all, Charlie Zipless is a very solid movie that gives a solid erection and a solid cumshot and gets four solid cocks-up.

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Workin? It Up

Reviewed by brav under Gay DVD Reviews Tuesday June 24, 2008

First I have to say that I never knew that hunky Vulcan vision of studliness that plays Sylar on Heroes and Frankenstein somehow had a lovechild…but we get to see this musclebound product of two cro-magnon skulls with a heroic hard-on of his own. I wouldn’t mind getting an up close and personal Vulcan nerve pinch from him…anyways, this is a movie about some fun-loving guys finding they have more in common than just their own physical development and how they can help each other grow.

These prime packages of meat show that there is no time or place that they won’t appreciate another well developed physique and that they enjoy savoring each other’s muscley forms from one end to another and also in and out of these ends. The youthful enthusiasm that these studs in Workin’ It Up bring to the screen translated well to enthusiasm for me as a viewer as my own love-muscle began workin’ it up.

I’m sure if they continue working out like this they will find that they have helped each other’s growth in their bodies and appreciations of them.

Three big twirling swishes for Workin’ It Up, and I hope to see another lean, mean muscley sequel soon.

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