I treated myself to an easy review with this one, as well as a guaranteed personal jack-off session because as everybody knows, when it comes to hot sex, it’s the slut factor that brings the heat and you can’t get any hotter or any sluttier than those 30-something MILF’s with the cock-craving attitude that they bring to the set and the way their body language yells for sex in a way that no other group of actresses in porn can do.

Now I know, the superstitious people among you readers of this review will say “I knew it, I could have told you, after all it’s number 13.” and yes, you would have been correct because the slut factor of MILF’s aside, this movie was kinda disappointing in that it did not live up to it’s potential.

MILTF 13 has the key ingredients for a rock-hard jack-off flick…I mean, for Christ’s sakes they’ve even got MILF superslut Vicky Vette, but when I watch a movie of a milf fuck fest I expect that I will also get to see some hot MILF-on-MILF action as well as a demonstration of full-on sluttiness as at least one of the MILF’s in the movie take on more than one cock.

This one just had standard yet admittedly highly sexual action, but it’s lack of the frills that make for the extra thrills when you shoot your load to a movie gives it only a disappointing three cocks-up.

It sounds like one of those old 1950s shows with a boy and his dog, but these hot men in Bacchus’s “Dad Knows Best” are nothing from Ward and the Beaver. These proud papas show some young studs the pleasures and wonders that only time and experience can bring!

Scene one starts out with a sexy thick-cocked father showing a young uncut hottie his excellent skills in pleasure ed. The banter between the two makes the young man seem almost innocently sexy. He obviously wants to be the teacher’s pet as he explores the older man’s cock with his talented tongue. As he is schooled in the ways of a good sixty-nine, F’lamin Yon loves how fast a learner he turns out to be. As soon as he has the basics down, father dearest moves on to the advanced course of ass fucking. From the cum shot of his teacher, F’lamin Yon says he gets high marks for his work.

Another father teaches a young stud how to handle a real man. From his actions, this boy doesn’t seem to need much direction as he sucks his teacher off in a lustful way. F’lamin Yon loves a boy who is ahead of his class! This boy loves to have his cock sucked and gives his teacher some tutoring of his own. The student becomes the teacher as he mounts up and gives the older hunk an “A” for ass fucking.

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Scene three opens with two sexy boys discussing what they should do after one of them has caught their dads having sex. They decide to confront the other’s father and hopefully get some action in return. The first youngin’ confronts his friend’s father in the garage and gets down and dirty with the willing older man. F’lamin Yon remembers when he fantasized about a friend’s father when he was a young man — good times. This hunk of a father doesn’t need to give much direction to his youngster as he seems quite content to explore his needs. There are a few annoying sound problems, but it doesn’t distract from the hot sex. The interaction almost seems genuine as the young boy is given a nice muscular ass to fuck to his heart’s content.

Bacchus does an excellent job with Dad Knows Best by tapping into the fantasy many young gay men have of learning about sex from a trusted older man. Some of the locations could have been better, but over all, the sex was hot and the actors were hotter. F’lamin Yon had to use six face towels to clean the TV screen off. Now to go grade a few more erotic papers. Muah!!!

They say chicks go crazy for guys who have power, money, good looks or intelligence (so having all four must be a killer combination). In Teachers Pet 07 we’re shown some super-charged examples of the latter; lusting after their brainiac Professor turns these hot college babes into total sluts willing to do whatever their idol wants or needs. This dude is fucking awesome man, he’s got all these crazily hot chicks totally eating out of his hands and doing whatever he wants…bringing him apples, feeding him their melons and sharing lots of creamy tuna pie…

Four fucktastic scenes filled with hardcore hot steamy sex all the way through, and featuring some nubile nympho talent who lust after both kinds of head, the brains and the brawn, as well as a spicy threesome thrown in for good measure, all adds up to a stellar porno with some rock-hard responses on this end.

Teachers Pet 07 can definitely teach you a thing or two about how to pick up those sultry younger sluts and have them hanging on your every word…just show em your brains and they’ll show you everything you want to see.

Total fuck-fun to be had with this movie, so it gets a throbbing three and a half cocks-up. It would’ve earned more if it’d had more threesome action.

Great music and hot bodies don’t always make a great video as F’lamin Yon found out in Daddy Oohhh! Productions “Body Rocks.” This could have been a very hot and well-made film had they concentrated on the action and not the appearance.

With some interesting graphics displays and a kickin’ beat, scene one shows a hot stud ready for a full body rub down. Though it seems he only wants to be rubbed in one area. The masseur seems to have the same idea as he strips down and gets a blow job. The editing and sudden color changes start to get annoying very quickly, although the black-and-white scenes are rather hot. There is no sound from our hot hunks as they blow, suck, and fuck their way to what can only be imagined as a great orgasm. Is this porn or a music video? F’lamin Yon is not impressed.

Another client for a new masseur, and he’s looking for a way to relax for his girlfriend. Our masseur shows him another way to relax that our cute little business man obviously enjoys. The music starts up and the graphics department has their fun with the video again. As said before, the sex would be much hotter if the sounds could actually be heard and seen for more than ten seconds before it changes to some mirrored shot or a green screen.

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Apparently a repeat customer is always the best kind of customer as his specialist is already waiting to rub him in all the right ways. The fade-in and outs are actually somewhat good here as the customer’s clothes seem to disappear as if by magic. But beyond that, the graphics team needs a day off.

The fourth scene started out like it was going to be different, but it quickly turned into another music video with hot guys, random graphics displays, and no sounds from the actors. Even with the hot dildo play and our secretary from the first two scenes playing voyeur, the scene is rather subdued by the overkill of graphics editing.

The last scene shows all our masseurs gathering around after work and discussing their clients. Apparently there weren’t enough to satisfy them as all four masseurs pair up and get down and dirty. Some sounds finally got through the music as three of the hunks ganged up on one, but it still wasn’t enough to keep F’lamin Yon’s interest.

Daddy Oohhh! Productions needs to cut back on their graphics funds and pay more attention to the sound man! Body Rocks could have been a very erotic and sexually-charged movie with excellent locations and hot guys. The lack of cries of passion and the constant scene changes due to “fun with graphics” made this movie into a long-running music video instead of a hot porn flick. F’lamin Yon only used one face towel for this video.

Yawn…oh it’s over ? Thank God. Panty World 11 has to be one of the most boring porn movies I have ever seen, and for the life of me if the first ten was like this, I cannot possibly imagine how they managed to make it to eleven. Personally though I can’t really understand the whole panty fetish anyway…I’m guessing the people who have this fetish are the same people that when they were young and they opened their birthday and Christmas gifts, ignored the toys and spent their day playing with the box or the wrapping paper it came in. As for me I don’t care how the chick is wrapped, I just wanna unwrap her and get down to business.

If you are the type of dude or chick who is into checking out panties, and chicks in their underwear as opposed to chicks in the buff then fast forward the movie to the third scene cos it’s the best of the bunch with some voyeurism and trippy lighting and double the hot chicks as two tasty looking sluts go down on each other, and yeah I gotta admit, what they’re wearing is pretty fucking hot…though they do look hotter after it’s off. But if you’re digging the whole lingerie scene, at least in this scene you get double the chicks and therefore double the lingerie.

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The heat and intensity of that scene almost makes up for the time wasted in the rest of the movie and I pretty much guarantee that the smoldering wetness these two babes generate is enough to blow your load so you don’t need the rest of the movie anyway.

One cock-up for one awesome scene to Panty World 11.

Alley Katt is a movie that took me far too long to watch…but can I help it if I just had to keep freezing the screen and oh so gently tracing the outlines of these magnificently muscled specimens of manliness…mmm ooo I have to shift my position now cos something is banging into the underside of my keyboard. All the images flying back in my head of all these muscley men in their ripply raunchy scenes…I can sum this movie up in five words…’Mul Ti Or Gas Mic’

Alley Katt reminds me of the good old days when men lived in caves with big ol’ hairy chests and bodies that grabbed you and took you when they wanted to. All four scenes have some of the most delicious looking muscle men my eyes have ever seen, and watching the way they move certainly made my cock stand up and say ‘Hello Beefcake’. Just like the law of the jungle these strong alpha males get their well endowed and equally muscle bound packages thoroughly serviced. I tell you I don’t think I have ever felt quite so jealous while watching a movie before.

Alley Katt is a movie that you will be able to cum to over and over again, even in your dreams while you picture caressing and licking these hot sweaty studs.

Five load-shooting lovesticks for Alley Katt.

This is a movie that frankly doesn’t live up to the enticement in the title. I hear Farmer Daughters Do Vegas and I think orgies in casino’s and slutty fuck clubs where sweet virginal and naive farm-girls get debauched and end up becoming sluts that take on the whole city of Las Vegas. In this vision of what I should be watching, Farmer Daughters Do Vegas totally let me down, and the amount of time I had to spend fast-forwarding through inane conversations delivered with nauseating acting does not leave this movie listed as one of my favorites…it didn’t totally suck, but it totally did not live up to expectations.

Once you get the hang of fast-scanning until you see the clothes come off the movie improves…I mean these chicks are babes and totally know how to fuck and suck…in the words of Wayne from Wayne’s World, “They would give a dog a bone”. These are actresses that love cock but unfortunately once again this is another aspect in which an otherwise lengthy porn movie fell short of it’s potential.

I have seen these chicks in enough flicks to know that they love pussy as much as they love cock…hell, they just love sex period.

C’mon guys, next time get some hot clit-on-clit rubbing happening with babe juices flowing onto each other. Two cocks-up based on the heat of the sex that there was for Farmer Daughters Do Vegas.

Everybody knows chocolate is an aphrodisiac and that is certainly true watching these cads bury it deep in four chocolate fudge packing scenes. There is enough cream being added to coffee in this movie that it may as well have been called StarFucks and adds a little light BDSM for some extra flavor. I have never seen anyone more anxious to be put in chains. I see now why a lot of white masters use to love keeping their hot sweaty black slaves in chains to better display their rippling muscles.

The cocks were big and juicy, the fucking was intense and action-filled, but I know when my fantasies go to some black stallions it’s always a sports team or rap band all getting together to bust some moves on my ass and all over my face leaving me covered in delicious white chocolate sauce…

Mandingo Men is severely lacking in cast cos everyone knows black fuck-machines are all about sex but this was all just one-on-one action that only teased you with what these black brutes should be capable of, so next time bring on some more beef…maybe a nice big white pork sausage to own their asses; they do say history repeats itself, nothing wrong with it repeating itself repeatedly in some sweet chocolate fudge packed wide-spread ass meat.

So while I did enjoy Mandingo Men as a yummy chocolate snack which certainly gave me some custard of my own to clean up, I must say it was only a mediocre man-fest and gets two swishes and half a schwing to the left.

Summer Olympics are coming, but yknow every Olympics since 1984 the viewing audience and pre-Olympic hype has been dwindling. Some people figure this is a result of social and political unrest throughout the world being mirrored through International events.

Take for example all the bullshit about the Olympics being in China…for Christ’s sakes the Olympics is supposed to be free of political bullshit. Now assume that these people are wrong…then why are less people watching these events ? Answer: Because people nowadays get bored easily and need sensationalism in what they watch. So to save the Olympics for future generations we need to introduce events like this.

Slut versus slut is the name of the game in this display of fellatio skills. I have no idea how they judged it, but by the looks of the lucky dudes who got their cocks sucked none of them had anything to complain about and they all judged it as mighty fine. These babes all gobble cock like it is what they were created for doing, and they enjoy showing off that they have the skills to work more than one fuckstick at a time. The sluttiness of these chicks as they gobble down the sausage is a guaranteed jack-off load waiting to be shot while watching them.

My only complaint with American Cocksuckin Championship 3 is that with this many sluts and all of that cock they could’ve taken it further and had it been a gangbang championship instead.

Four cocks-up for American Cocksuckin Championship 3.

Glory Holes of New York…three words…Fa Bu Lous! If you like watching super sweaty muscley guys getting it on, and if watching studly bears getting their asses spread and slammed full of salami while they get stuffed with sausage at the other end just like a calzone and filled with just as many hot and zesty juices turns you on, then this is a movie guaranteed to pop your cock more than a bottle of poppers!

Don’t even get me started about the sizes of the cocks in this movie…I’m talking sky-rockets in flight…afternoon delight and lordy me do these rockets explode with fireworks ? You can bet your ass they do…all over these slutty sexpigs’ faces and asses. The variety of sets and situations that they apply use of glory-holes to shows that at least some thought went into the scenery, even though not much budget did. Personally though my eyes were more riveted on watching those huge cocks riveting those hungry asses and all that tanned muscle rippling against each other while the sweat dripped and the action got hotter.

I don’t know where they managed to find so many super-hung fuck-studs, but I know that the next place they will be found is in my dreams tonight.

Five pre-cum coated swishes straight-up for Glory Holes of New York.